Shuck like a mothershucker

“Snuck up on ya’! Like sixty feet of…stealth” joked the bus-driver.  Seattle is very different to London.  Not only are the bus drivers able to put together a sentence, they can also deliver jokes.  Also drive in a relatively smooth manner that does not induce nausea within 20 yards.  The buses here might be very bendy and very long  (hence I did not hear the engine – it was 60ft away), but they are perfectly suited to the big, wide and generally straight roads.

it’s just gone 3 months since I set foot in the Emerald City and much has happened.  Generally day-to-day life is better, brighter & easier.  I’ve also done things I wouldn’t have done back in Ol’ Blighty.  For your edification, here is a list.

1. Learned to shuck oysters, which are plentiful and cheap here.
2. Driven an electric car & a 5ltr 4×4.  Truly a land of contrasts.
3. Taken a ferry to somewhere I could have driven.
4. Jumped into a freezing cold but crystal clear lake.
5. Spent time in a desert that is surprisingly only 2hrs east of moist Seattle.
6. Gone brown.  Really tanned.  On my face and arms, at any rate.  Legs still whiter than  a KKK meeting.
7. Been to a proper American wedding – just like in the movies.
8. Seen the NY Yankees play – and be beaten by – my local baseball team.
9. Looked out of the living room window and seen a mountain sunset.
10. Applied for the (mythical?) Green Card.

One thing I didn’t learn until last night was: wear gloves whilst shucking oysters.  This morning I note that my hands are in tatters and look like those of a talentless razor-juggler.   Writing – well typing – a painful process.

Best bumper sticker.

Young Folks.

You’ve all heard the excellent Peter Bjorn and John singing Young Folks. But what about these covers?

• Dawn Landes doing a bluegrass style version.  She’s got a great voice.  This one makes me smile.
• Kanye West flexing his singing muscles.
• The Kooks giving it their all.  Not as whimsical but better rhythm section.
• James Blunt ruining it with his tiny munchkin voice.  Meh.

Better in the UK

1 month in and here’s what I miss about the UK.  Asides from family (cough) and friends (fo’ sho’).  It’s not a very long list.

1. Radio 4 without the timeshifting.  Sure, I can fire up iPlayer on my laptop but The Today Programme is just too chirpy for 10pm.  And no fucker wants to wake up to Today in Parliament.
2. Excellent ready meals.  I had no idea that this was a British speciality.
3. Decent cheese.
4. Corner shops.  (They have these here too, but it’s a 20 block walk on average.)
5. 240V electricity.  Trying to make toast on 110V is painful.

And that’s it.

Mac mini: review

6 months on I would like to present my humble review of the macmini.

	Mac Mini	My old PC
Boot-up time	39s	50s+
Sounds like a vacuum cleaner	No, silent	Hell yes.
Incredibly small?	Yes	No

Everything else is irrelevent: it’s on the Web.

Linked-in amusement

Walk like a conniption

Well, I finally did it.  I made it from Sea to shining SeaTac and am now ensconced in God’s country for a period of at least 1 year and up to 3.  (Unless I go native).

The hardest part of the journey wasn’t the paperwork, the 5 hour wait at the US embassy or even my arrival at immigration.  Oh no.  It was getting my enormous suitcase (a.k.a. “Big Green”) from Royal Leamington Spa to Heathrow Terminal 4 without rupturing myself.

Travel tip: If you know your case is 10Kg over the weight limit, start flirting and apologising long before it hits the scales.

Anyhows, Big Green is not a good travel partner.  I had to help him down 3 flights of stairs, shepherd him across London and get him on a plane.   But he arrived intact, presumably trashing BA0049’s fuel economy in the process.

More anon.

Something in common

Q. What does Burma have in common with Heather Mills-McCartney?

A. They both have an absolutely ravaged delta region…

Ba-doom-tish.

Transformer hooter.

As a kid, I loved Transformers.  Also, I liked owls. So you can imagine how excited I was when somebody forwarded me a link to an owl that is also Transformer.  Enjoy.

Give it your worst.

At work, we have an Intranet.  On this Intranet is a staff directory.  On your staff directory profile you can specify “interests” and “favorite [sic] foods”.  My question to you good people is…what should I put there?

So far I’ve opted for dog-fighting and freestyle luge. And as my cuisine preference…German.

What would you have chosen?